Thank you for sharing so honestly, I relate to so much, and there is relief in the relating. My daughter will be 1 at the very end of June, and it’s been such a wild ride, so much love and joy, yes and also so much more survival mode than I anticipated. I’m so beyond grateful and full of love for my girl — AND have been having some very honest internal dialogue about my realistic nervous system capacity regarding the “do you want another” question . Maybe one is absolutely perfect for our little fam 🫶
aww thank you britta!! it's a relief for me as well to hear that you can relate to the same feelings. It's an amazing and totally wild ride that I don't think anyone can prepare you for haha Also -- our littles are just approaching one -- so I also try to tell myself that I can just keep enjoying only having him right now and if something changes in how I feel in the future, we'll figure it out when it comes, haha. Happy First Mother's Day!!! YOU DID IT!!!!
Oh Cass, I so loved reading your account of motherhood! I just have to say: I'm with you and you're not alone. I so deeply wanted to love mothering and really thought being a full-time SAHM would be the best suited job for me. Only to find myself, around 4 months PP, having a total identity crisis when I realized that, despite coming quite naturally to me (thanks to years of babysitting + helping to care for 9 nieces and nephews that preceded Theo) I was miserable, isolated, and dreading my days. The guilt was enormous. And talking to more moms and hearing their experiences echo mine is what helped me feel more regulated. Of course I love my son (and now his baby sister!) and wouldn't give up being his mom for the entire world. But parenting and full-time or even part-time caretaking is a wholeeee other ballgame! I can say that my new identity started to settle in around Theo's 2nd birthday... I heard somewhere that it takes 2 years for moms to come into their own and whether that's scientifically relevant or just something people say, it felt real to me. Things got better for me. (Increasing daycare days and going back to work also helped a ton!) And when Theo was around 22 months, we made the decision to have a 2nd child. We really weren't sure we could do it at any point leading up to that... and still after, haha. But now she's here and the whiplash is way less violent, and we're still wondering if we will survive, but we know we will. And also... you're allowed to just have "kid" without the "s"! Let's lay off asking parents if they're going to have more than one, shall we? Anyway, love you and I miss you, and wishing you an even more powerful year of mothering ahead!
What a powerful testament to the true power of women. To battle the deep throes of motherhood and come out determined and shining our light and love, more powerful than ever. Well done mama :)
I'm crying and I'm celebrating right now as I read this. Eleven months ago, my grandson, at 41 weeks gestation, was stillborn on June 5th, weighing 8 pounds. In spite of the grief over this, I am rejoicing in your precious, June 5th blessing, Cassandra! Thank you for sharing!
Oh Laura -- my heart goes out to you and your son and daughter. Giving you such a big hug and so much love. I can not fathom the heartbreak. I almost didn't include his birth date --- but perhaps I got the nudge to do it because a certain little angel wanted you to get a loving wink from heaven. How absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing with me about your precious grandson. <3
Thank you for sharing so honestly, I relate to so much, and there is relief in the relating. My daughter will be 1 at the very end of June, and it’s been such a wild ride, so much love and joy, yes and also so much more survival mode than I anticipated. I’m so beyond grateful and full of love for my girl — AND have been having some very honest internal dialogue about my realistic nervous system capacity regarding the “do you want another” question . Maybe one is absolutely perfect for our little fam 🫶
aww thank you britta!! it's a relief for me as well to hear that you can relate to the same feelings. It's an amazing and totally wild ride that I don't think anyone can prepare you for haha Also -- our littles are just approaching one -- so I also try to tell myself that I can just keep enjoying only having him right now and if something changes in how I feel in the future, we'll figure it out when it comes, haha. Happy First Mother's Day!!! YOU DID IT!!!!
Oh Cass, I so loved reading your account of motherhood! I just have to say: I'm with you and you're not alone. I so deeply wanted to love mothering and really thought being a full-time SAHM would be the best suited job for me. Only to find myself, around 4 months PP, having a total identity crisis when I realized that, despite coming quite naturally to me (thanks to years of babysitting + helping to care for 9 nieces and nephews that preceded Theo) I was miserable, isolated, and dreading my days. The guilt was enormous. And talking to more moms and hearing their experiences echo mine is what helped me feel more regulated. Of course I love my son (and now his baby sister!) and wouldn't give up being his mom for the entire world. But parenting and full-time or even part-time caretaking is a wholeeee other ballgame! I can say that my new identity started to settle in around Theo's 2nd birthday... I heard somewhere that it takes 2 years for moms to come into their own and whether that's scientifically relevant or just something people say, it felt real to me. Things got better for me. (Increasing daycare days and going back to work also helped a ton!) And when Theo was around 22 months, we made the decision to have a 2nd child. We really weren't sure we could do it at any point leading up to that... and still after, haha. But now she's here and the whiplash is way less violent, and we're still wondering if we will survive, but we know we will. And also... you're allowed to just have "kid" without the "s"! Let's lay off asking parents if they're going to have more than one, shall we? Anyway, love you and I miss you, and wishing you an even more powerful year of mothering ahead!
What a powerful testament to the true power of women. To battle the deep throes of motherhood and come out determined and shining our light and love, more powerful than ever. Well done mama :)
It's so beautiful to hear your voice + witness your journey continue to unfold 🙏🏼 Sending you so much love sweet mama ❤️
I'm crying and I'm celebrating right now as I read this. Eleven months ago, my grandson, at 41 weeks gestation, was stillborn on June 5th, weighing 8 pounds. In spite of the grief over this, I am rejoicing in your precious, June 5th blessing, Cassandra! Thank you for sharing!
Oh Laura -- my heart goes out to you and your son and daughter. Giving you such a big hug and so much love. I can not fathom the heartbreak. I almost didn't include his birth date --- but perhaps I got the nudge to do it because a certain little angel wanted you to get a loving wink from heaven. How absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing with me about your precious grandson. <3